From the moment you got down on your knee with the ring and the word “YES!” slipped through her lips, the wedding planning is already in motion. Actually for most brides the wedding planning probably started much earlier and if that is the case you are properly just going to tag alone for the ride.
So just how involved should the groom (you) be with the wedding planning process? This really depends on what type of couple you are and what your lovely bride has already planned. Sit down and have a conversation first, before she runs out the door with her 5 inch thick bridal binder to meet up with her girlfriends to plan your wedding.
First thing first, regardless of how involved you want to be with the planning; you want to set a budget and an invite list for your wedding. Remember, you will not be able to account for everything while you are making your budget, so it’s a good idea to budget for an additional 15%. I feel this is the most important step to begin the wedding planning process, unless money is not an issue for you.
There are 3 types of grooms when it comes to wedding planning:
- Hands off – You are only responsible for putting on the tux and showing up on the wedding day, saying “I do”, smiling to the camera and mingling with family and friends. If this is you, make sure it’s ok with your bride, so she doesn’t feel like she is in this alone. If you both have agreed you are the “hands off” groom, remember you don’t get a say in anything once your bride has made her selections and you do not get to complain about it later.
- Big picture guy – You only want to be consulted on the important stuff or things that are important to you; you simply don’t care if the table cloth is tango pink or Congo pink. However, you want to have some say in picking the venue, some vendors and what’s on the bar. If this is you, make sure you have an in-depth conversation with your bride on what’s important to you and which part of the planning process you would like to be included in or actually be responsible for. Remember even if certain things were assigned to you, do not make the final decision on your own before consulting your soon-to-be wife, she may not enjoy the Grateful Dead cover band at her wedding as much as you.
- Groom-zilla – You want to be involved in EVERYTHING! You have already been pinning wedding ideas non-stop on Pinterest and ready to create that fairytale wedding of “your” dreams, so the two of you can live happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with a groom that wants to be involved in everything, just make sure you have an in-depth conversation with your fiancée to make sure you both share the same vision and divvy up some responsibility. Don’t forget to make the planning process fun for both of you – that is the most important thing to remember here.
In the end, regardless of which type of groom you are, make sure the communication line is open and that you hold up your end of responsibilities.